Tuesday 28 February 2012

Need a hug

When you're sick, all you want is to cuddle up and be all clingy with your closest ones. At least for me.

It's been a while since my temperature went up this high and as much as I love work, I had zero energy to even lift up my body to do anything in the office yesterday. I probably lasted through the meeting before my system went all haywire. Made my way back to the HQ and my colleague said I looked like a druggie. Hmmm... It was the last straw when my boss said "I'll do your work, you go home and sleep"

I think when I'm sick, medications don't work but instead the love that I'm showered with and being all manja with my closest ones helped with the recovery. Anything with no stress is all good!

Slept in mama daddy's room, and woke up in bang long and kak long's room (the newlyweds are fine with me waking up in their bed :)). In between, loads of check ups and hugs from the four of them throughout the night, checking my temperature, my medication, food and water. Blissful feeling! :)

Bless them!

Thursday 23 February 2012

Sort of confused

When you have so much respect for someone, things can become rather complicated. At least for me.

I don't even know how or what is the right way to speak to them. Even having your voice louder than theirs feels disrespectful for me. What more to argue on something. I'd feel really bad if I had to even argue. I'm ok with discussing, but ultimately I'd allow for them to have the last say, as long as they are happy. If it not the right thing, then I'll just do it another way afterwards.

How do you communicate well with someone you look up to? I really don't know.

It's like having your favourite celebrity come up to you and you just stand there starstruck, but afterwards you still feel very happy and satisfied to have been around them. Eventhough you did not communicate or say anything at all to begin with.

It's like this very weird feeling of comfort. Probably just me.

Tuesday 21 February 2012

First change

...was this that happened quite automatically over the weekend :)

Kak Long's on my favourite list now. Just a tap and she's on the line!
A sister I never had :)

Sunday 19 February 2012

More Than You'll Ever Know

When you're stress only because you care and then it doesn't make sense nor does it matter anymore. And then when you learn to not care though it's unfair, it somehow feels lighter.

The need for a breather or a break to get in check is sometimes an option.

Friday 17 February 2012

Wedding Jitters - Of continuous tears

Waking up with swollen eyes on the day of ABANG'S nikah day I thought
"I've never cried buckets like this when someone got married. I cried myself to sleep, I woke up crying. Breaking down out of the blue when I think about it"
First thing I did the minute I woke up was to give abang the biggest hug and breakdown.

What does marriage means to each individual? Does it mean to build an extension to the existing family members and making a bigger happier family or does it mean leaving the family to lead and/or have your own?

It feels so surreal that he's gonna be married when tonight comes. I'm not ready for his, I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready to see him stay out of the house, I'm not ready for so many things. How will I ever be ready to get married myself when the time comes is beyond me. Suddenly I have a fear for marriage all of a sudden.

May tonight go smoothly for us and all my family members, Insyallah. Amin 
Bless both mama and daddy for all their effort, sweat and tears preparing for abang's wedding. Only Allah knows how much they have done, MasyaAllah.

He

was always there when a week of happenings came pouring. When no one else close to me were around and nothing happy that I was seeking for came by. His ears were all mine.

Amazing it is. He makes me feel too special, always :)

Wednesday 15 February 2012

Wedding Jitters - Of Love and Marriage

So I got home yesterday to find a very very VERYYYYY GREEEEEEN bilik pengatin.

Did I say green?

Yes.

This brother of mine is the favourite child indeed. He gets his colours and on top of that, everyone else in the family gets to pick on me by making everything in this house green and pretending I don't exist for a while. Well at least till the end of all the receptions I'm guessing ;)
2 days to go. I'm happy. But I'm sad. Mixed feelings.
*teary eyes*

Monday 13 February 2012

You will never win if you never begin

We are always asking and praying for things that we don't have, but at the same time we forget about the things we already have. And we forget to feel thankful for every extra day that we have to live it to the fullest, for the things that we have been blessed with. So if you fail, just get up and give it another try, InsyaAllah you will get the ending you had hoped for.

We're only human indeed, we forget. If you're not happy with what you already have, think again, this time harder. Out there, there are people who would be so thankful to just be in your shoes. This guy has no hands, no legs, but he is happy, MasyaAllah. To me, he's richer than a person so wealthy but not happy or always so tired.

Saturday 11 February 2012

No switching channels

Yes.
8.40 pm Malaysian time.

Please forgive me oh my very kind neighbours, for I may just bring my own house down supporting the boys on the field!

Friday 10 February 2012

Wedding Jitters - Of weddings and big dreams

These days, I find it rather therapeutic and fun to be drawing and sketching dresses when I’m on a break. To add flowers at the waist, colourful beadings at the collar, scattered ruffles at the skirt and as far and creative as your mind can take you. It’s really nice! Is that how designers really feel? Like truly?
All ready for Kak Long's Reception :)
Sketching away as far as your imagination can take you is sometimes like dreaming the impossible. The greatest satisfaction hits you when what you had sketched initially come out exactly how you had in mind. If it doesn’t, it still is a piece that you will definitely feel satisfied about, in the most unique way or another. Just like achieving a dream you thought was once impossible.  

Some inspiring statements I heard this week :
A combination of self belief, motivation, encouragement and most importantly the readiness to accept failure is truly the best recipe to success. The society we live in today (read: country specific) is not open to failures. Once you fail, you’re a gone case. Surely with this mentality, you’ll never have the guts to try anything new.

If you ask enough people, you can usually find someone who will advise you to do what you were going to do anyway. You KNOW what’s right.

Wednesday 8 February 2012

Wedding Jitters

I remembered those earlier days when abang mentioned about getting married. One of the first few things that were discussed about were venue and theme colour.

Everyone in this world (haha, perasan!) know that my favourite colour is green. Everything about mine in the house was specially made in green. My room. My walls. My bathroom. My bedsheet. My water bottle. So when abang and mama mentioned about green, daddy's first few statements were:

"Dah tanye adik belum? Have you asked for her pemission?"
"It's gonna be HER wedding theme colour one day"
"She has asked for it since before she knew how to even date"

Mama even added:

"I know which green you'd like for yours nanti, don't worry"
"You will still get green just like you want it to be, even if abang uses green now"

It's true when they say parents would do anything to make their child happy. So concern about our well being and happiness at all times. That's my mama and daddy :)
...and my green dress is ready.
 Just that this one is not for my wedding, but abang's solemnization, InsyaAllah :)

Saturday 4 February 2012

Pumped up!

Just got off the phone with Ajjie and as much as I am excited, I am having goosebumps! I think the both of us are just overly excited maybe. Nervous to get through what will be an amazing weekend, InsyaAllah :) 

May Allah makes it easy for us to absorb it all, Amin. 

What professional paper? Work submission? They can wait a while for now. 

Or, ok let's finish up a portion since I won't be having a weekend. 

Wednesday 1 February 2012

Valley of the Seekers

It was over breakfast that we stumbled upon this topic - Vivy, Ajjie and I. So Ajjie and I were teasing Vivy, "Vy, nak kahwin ni cuba you recite the Asma-ul-Husna for us" (whilst we chomp our food to our hearts' content, not really paying attention to her) :) Haha!
Remember those days in primary school when we used to go to sekolah kebangsaan half of the day and sekolah agama the next half of the day? As children, we were taught to memorize and cherish the Beautiful Names of Allah. I'm sure if you ask any one muslim to recite the Asma-ul-Husna, every one can do it. But to share, know and appreciate the meaning truly, maybe not everyone.

This weekend, we'll be attending "Valley of the Seekers: Living with the Beautiful Names of Allah", a 2-weekend seminar where we will learn about our Creator, and savour the sweetness of connecting to Him, the Most High! I was already super excited when we registered for it, and to find out that it is SOLD OUT made me jump with even more joy!! :) They've conducted it in the UK and also the US and we heard so many good reviews about it 
too!
I love attending courses and sessions like these because it always always keeps me grounded and in check. I'm far from perfect, but InsyaAllah, through guidance like this, it'll make it easier for me to strive an be a better Muslim :)
To make it better, I'm going with my closest ones! It's not gonna be a happy fun weekend, but definitely a fulfilling one too :)