Too many for two hands

Lately, there have just been so many things in my two little hands. Just too many. Sometimes, I feel there's no need for me to think too far to decide but my body does it automatically and at the same time if I don't and I regret what I chose, I'd kill myself for not thinking too hard earlier. After all, I'm still unemployed. Time's on my side. Well not so la actually.... Oh well....

As the big day approaches, and things were made more complicated, I'm filled with so many questions in my head. Have I made the right choice? Will I be able to perform and earn myself that reserved place in KCL? Why do I only hear the scary part of the whole works and never the happy side? Am I equipped with enough knowledge? I can only ask, but not until I start will I know the answers kan. So why do I even trouble my head asking. Pffft. I was probably brought up that way, to think of the worse case scenario and having a back up.

For that, I have gone back into my usual habit of having earphones stuck in my ears with music that cheers me up. At times it works, but I've also feared that when I start working, having iPods in the office won't be allowed and there goes my motivation. At times, it's sad to picture the fact that I won't be in the house in the evening for Mama, Papa or abang to just barge in and hang out in my room catching up and just being silly updating me about how their day went like. I'm not anticipating that moment.

So, I've been quite occupied with YCM tasks, and gosh, I've forgotten that drafting letters for different reasons could become quite tricky, even more if you have to draft the letter in BM, or even then, 15 companies! Ya Allah, susah gilerrrrr please. Those UKEC days in London when everyone's interest was on UKEC as well, things were simpler. Now, some are already working, and there goes the extra help that you could have possibly gotten. What's this word in Malay? What's that word in Malay? Can I just put in those english words in ' ' and let it 'secara automatik' become a Malay word? haha! Tough luck Alia! My malay dictionary in the head has expired indeed! What more when it's a letter to those big guns, I have to indeed be very careful that everything's grammatically correct and the message is passed across.

Oh well. There's more to come. Probably even worse when I've started working soon! Ok la, I'm actually ready already to step into the new, obviously bigger phase of life, just apprehensive. It's like, a district athlete stepping up into the Olympic floor for the very first time. Scary isn't it? Ok, I think I need sleep before Firdaus comes with a whole truck-load of YCM updates. Ok, that's an exaggeration! :P