It's always the case

Sayang, I can't seem to fall asleep everytime I get home at night no matter how strong I was before I got home or how much more positive I am. It hits me that I am not able to call you for an immediate fix of lunch or movie or just jalan jalan with Mama and I...and it's happening again now. I just read Ili's message and I seem like two different person in a span of 3 hours.

This is really a test on US. Your family members. Your loved ones and your close ones. Please wake up soon, as I know you are THAT strong and will battle hard to get through this and survive. We on the other hand will NEVER stop praying for you. Abang Raf was explaining about the clots, and how that is a part which we should have our least worries on, it's the nerves that might bring a big change. Sayang, you might wake up to be the same, or maybe not. To remember me, or maybe not and to still remember me as your favourite cousin or maybe abang ( well which I will not allow, of course! ). haha!

But please know that no matter what, I will still love you the same and will do so forever baby. I still want to have you to play with and tell you things to and update you about all that's happening in my life. Remember how we need to update each other IMMEDIATELY when we have new update on our lives? I want to continue to have that with you. I still want to have my closest cousin telling me that I'm fat when I am and lost weight when I have and having my back at all times. Cepat la bangun k. I'm sleepy. Probably I'll read another round of Yaasin for you before I try to sleep. I love you Azwan sayang!