Fast forward to the month after - in January 2019 after discussing with our fertility doctor, we all decided IVF was probably the best option. We’ve gone through 4 IUIs and another one would not be advisable at that point in time. Plus, the Doctor reminded me time and again that IVF does not mean it’s a last-resort option nor does it mean that my problem is super severe. It’s just that at that point in time, that was the option with the highest probability.
Was I scared? Who wouldn't be. Because there were so many injections involved , everything was time-sensitive and we had to stay as positive as we can to allow a better chance for it to work (how the injections went I shall save it for another post - it was both scary and funny all at the same time because Aiman had to be trained to inject me). I was emotionally affected, the medications made my hormones go all haywire, put on a little bit of weight and in a span of a few months Aiman became an expert at mixing the medication and injecting me a few times a day at exactly the same time. My lifestyle changed drastically and the journey was not short of blood, sweat and tears - stopped travelling altogether, ate healthier food, played less sports, got moodier (my poor colleagues and especially Aiman haha!), sometimes I go to bed crying, sometimes I wake up crying, sometimes I even cry when I am in the office and couldn’t walk so much. It was all very overwhelming.
And that was only part 1 of it all. The next stage was the surgery to collect my eggs. I was put under GA thank God so I don’t remember any pain. But I do remember how scared I was, and I was crying in the OT because I didn’t know what to expect, had to take off my glasses so I couldn’t quite see but I remembered there were so many people in the OT and they were trying to calm me down before putting me to ‘sleep’.
By the time I woke up, I was already out and Aiman was back with me. Doctor came to explain to us what had happened and at that that time the happiest thing we heard was “we managed to get 17 eggs....” before the Doctor added “see, you were scared for nothing”. Alhamdulillah!
All 17 were sent for fertilisation and 5 embryos came out of it. We had mixed emotions because we thought we would get more than 5, considering eggs collected were a lot - but of course there are some eggs that weren’t A grade.
To cut the story short, Yusuf was the first embryo that we inserted and we couldn’t believe our chances when I pee-d on the stick and saw a positive! 4 years of trying and failing and going for treatment and failing, we were nervous and at the same time prayed really hard that he stays with us. We kept it quiet throughout our IVF procedure and till I was 7 months pregnant and only very few knew about my pregnancy - because the 37 weeks was filled with emergency hospital visits and scares. We also felt the need to lead life like normal and not get people unnecessarily worrying about us hence the very few people we told - any concerns and the slightest worry we had, we went straight to our Doctors.
I know for myself that this was never a journey I saw myself having to go through, but I believe Allah picked us for a reason and timing couldn’t have been more perfect for us. I know too that many are going through the same but it’s always a scary subject to talk about for fear that we may jinx it all.
So this birthday I choose to share this story in hopes that it can give strength to women out there who had, are and may experience the same. It’s not easy but for as long as you believe in His plans, seek help from professionals (we had a really awesome line up of doctors!) that you are comfortable with, InsyaAllah it will still be a very fulfilling and happy journey! I know for us it was, and as you can see, my life is not just filled with happy times, but also other times. ️
5 years on, we now have this miracle baby in our arms and we couldn’t be more grateful for him and his 4 other siblings in the lab! To all that are reading this, I pray that whatever you wish for will come true 💛
Note: I’ve shortened the story at so many parts because a detailed post (like which doctor did I see, which hospital did I go to, how was the whole experience etc) may be crazy longggggg haha! I mean it was a 4 years journey! Feel free though to drop me a note if you wanna ask anything and I’ll be more than happy to share! :))
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