Please don't cry? Your SpO2 count is perfect

Sayang!! You're off the ventilator and being assisted by the oxygen mask sekejap tadi. You're now on Ventimask, on 40%. You're such an amazing fighter yang, and you know what else they did? They have taken out the ICP monitor from your brain that was hurting you the most. Alhamdulillah. Allah is great for he has answered our prayers Zwan and you on the other hand, you're doing an amazing job.

I know it's painful, I really do, and it hurts me everytime you squeeze my hands because you're in pain. I feel so helpless. If only I could...you know I would try and take some burden off from you.

Sayang, I got back from the hospital at 3 ish, in time to write to you before leaving back for the hospital at 4. Mummy called and she said that she was going to be a bit late, so I packed and left straightaway to be there for you. I know you need all the familiarity and so I stayed with you for a pretty long time today. The longest ever. and this time I used Touch & Go.

Since there were not many visitors, the doctors hung around listening to me talk to you and answering all my questions, which I usually whisper in case you hear. Once, you actually pulled my hand up and then slipped each of your fingers in between each and everyone of my fingers. Now aren't you the sweetest boy? I just smiled and so did the doctors. So I asked them what happened in that one hour break that I went home and they explained about them taking out the ventilator and monitor and sayang...Doctors said you were so aggressive :( Because you were so sakit, you fought and struggled with the doctors. Doctor said you were so much in pain that you actually opened your eyes when you actually couldn't yet. Only God knows the pain you're going through Zwan and for that I will beg and pray for Him to lessen the pain for you.

Because of that, doctors have tied you back to the bed, and gave you sleeping pill so that you can get some rest. But sayang, tadi ade one time, you pulled my hand towards your right leg, and it was a really strong pull. But I really didn't know what you wanted :( I know you were trying to tell me something, and when I acknowledged and said "Ye ke? Haaa, I dengar ni. Just relax k, you're doing very well", then you calmed down. You must have fought quite ganas-ly I guess, coz you have new bruises on your hands, and they're so red and swollen. Tengah hari tadi takde pun.

and then sayang, at one time, the Doctors wanted to monitor you, so they took your blood from your left leg and when they did that, you just squeezed my hand so hard tau and pulled yourself towards me and... tear drops flowed from your right eye. Sigh... I just salawat banyak banyak and I wiped it away with a heavy heart and told you to bersabar and lepas tu I pushed you back in case you get body ache sebab you dah tido senget towards me. The Doctors just smiled encouragingly at me and told me to motivate you as they said you were quite aggressive. Jangan lawan doctors k sayang? They're trying their best too.

Anyway, after that you actually spoke to me and Melisa sayang! and I was so excited tapi I takut your BP might naik, I just acknowledged. You moved your lips and told me "Aaaaa....aaaaa" for a good 3 minutes. I love you sayang for battling really hard. You're doing very very well. Your SpO2 reading was 98 which was perfectly fine, and you are on the highest level on the oxygen mask. Slowly, Doctors will decrease it till you can fully breathe on your own, InsyaAllah.

It's been an amazing day with you today yang. I gave you a great big kiss today. Your movements, seeing Doctors work on you, when you talk to me and when you held me so tight you didn't let me leave. Stay strong k. I love you yang!

and Juai, thanks for that pretty long call. Those encouraging words and safety notes are just what I needed at that time.