You keep appearing

Sayang, today again I went to the hospital alone on my own. Mama is still unwell, and so I took the car and at every speed limit I drove 30km/h less than it. All the way. Well, I don't think I am all that strong yet, but never do I mention it in front of you, in fear that you might hear.

Like today, on the way to the hospital, you know what came to my mind?

- Remember those times when we were 8-10, when we used to create alibis to tell Papa, Mummy, Daddy and mama just to be able to sleep at each others house?

- That time when we poured powder and shredded papers and placed them on the fan to play a prank on abang but instead daddy yang on the fan and we got into so much trouble?

-That time when you just got back from Bristol and had a leg injury and you stayed over at my house since your parents were working. Everyday you would send me off to school and wait for me at the gate to come home?

- When we used to trick people with our very same voice before your voice broke...and then it became rough a bit. heee

- Then those college days when you used to come with daddy to KTJ and surprise me with your presence and you nyorok nyorok kat belakang tembok my boarding house?

- That time when you merajuk when I had a bf and did not tell you immediately? Well you did the same too. haha! and we promised to never do it again

- ...and your face just started appearing in my mind all the way to the hospital and was crying whilst driving...so much so that

When I drove into the Smart Tag lane, the bar did not go up! Only when I got quite close to the bar did it go up...and then I realized, that I forgot to even put my Smart Tag on the dashboard and it was on my lap :( I could have slapped myself silly for doing that. Afterwards I just kept reminding myself that you would have slapped me too if you knew that and tried really hard to just focus on my driving. It was difficult. I miss you