If I could turn back time, I admit that what and where I am now was never exactly what I had pictured in my head. Earlier last week, a man that I look up to asked a question that made me think hard. A question that back-in-those-days scared the hell out of me because whatever I decided on may make my path easier or more difficult, but not anymore today. I answered it with the most casual tone. It does in fact bring a smile when I think about it. It's a motivation these days when I remember it.
And then, I met one of the more significant people who made life as a student easier for me back in London and he asked me a question. A question that I can no longer answer like how I used to. Only because I no longer am living through what I had previously pictured out in my head to be few years down the line. I know for a fact he was just joking when he asked me that.
Dreams and decision making make life an interesting one. When planning what you want to achieve or how you want things to be in the future, it never really involved the decisions you were gonna make nor did it involve any what-ifs to begin with. So whatever I had plan to achieve at a certain age, it may come earlier, it may come later. It's magical that dreams push you to chase the impossible sometimes. Dreams like any other dreams, some of them do come true and some don't. When they don't, it may just come back in a different form, InsyaAllah. What if it's not the way we dream it to be? Not the end of the world of course :)
Thinking what were once some of the plans fitted into 'what my 2012 was gonna be' back then, there's really a mixed feeling attached to it. So many things that I did not see coming, so many pictures erased, so many moments captured and disappeared and so many more new pictures painted. It's a reminder that nothing you plan will fall onto your lap easily and there is nothing that Allah SWT can never take away from you in a split second...even if it means that you've planned your life by the milisecond. It makes me very thankful to be able to live through all of them really, the good times, the challenging times :)
I thought about it and there's nothing more that I would ask for. Of course I strive to be better as time passes by and if I could be the smartest, most intelligent and talented, I'd love to. Nonetheless, what I have right now is sufficient. Not a reason to be complacent for sure, there's never no time for improvement! To be able to wake up everyday feeling happy is already a big bonus on its own :)
When I was a kid, I had always wished I was an adult so that I can do whatever I want. Now that I'm an adult, I wished I was a kid so that I can do whatever I want. Weird but true. Look at lil nephew, he cries whenever he wants to, he sleeps whenever he wants to. Poop and pee whenever he likes as well! No matter what he does, you'll still love him like crazy.
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