Happy Father's Day!

The biggest challenge for me was going through pantang (confinement) without a distraction.

ie: you have your urut sessions, visits to the doctors, eating confinement food, resting at home and basically getting the experience similar to a Mother that has just given birth. The only difference was I had no distraction to keep me occupied when I'm done with all those said sessions, there is no little human to care for. So you go back to remembering when you were pregnant and had hopes that in a couple of months you would be holding a little human in your arms to lose sleep over and being a zombie during the day coz you had stayed up all night having to take care of multiple feeding and nappy-changing times.

Being a Mother and going through a miscarriage has its separate challenges which should not be compared. Why? Because I've had people who are now Mothers come up to me to say things like "It's ok, I went through a miscarriage too before, you'll get over it, God willing you'll get a baby one day. Now I have xxx children already and that's when you start longing for the carefree time before children!".

Aiman and I on the other hand try very hard to take the positive out of this. This is a blessing, in a different form, Alhamdulillah! Allah is giving us more time to travel and spend time with each other, Allah is giving me more time to always visit my Doctors and Nurses that I'm grateful for (haha!) and most importantly He is giving both Aiman and I this opportunity to build up the love and really appreciate when the moment comes that He wants to give us a child/children in the future.

Conveniently my surgery was just that week before the mother's day weekend and having had a miscarriage, it was all a mixed feeling. But on Mother's Day, I came out out to the hallway and found this placed so nicely on the wall:

• aimansjaafar: I once contemplated, are you considered a mother if you had a miscarriage - despite having a life with it's own heartbeat growing inside you?
  Though it may be just for a while, I saw love, selflessness and desire to give the very best to the baby when Alia carried ours. Those to me, are some of the very best of qualities of any mother.
  Happy Mothers Day to my Alia, may our children pray for your place in Jannah and Inshallah, our rezeki will come soon.
  
  

Of course then on Father's day it was only right that we celebrated this man who had cared for me and the baby unconditionally. It's true what they say, you'll never know how much greater love can be until you have a child (alive or not)! The sleepless nights he had because he had to teman me when I threw up, or when he had to wake up and rub essential oil on my tummy coz I did not feel so good or those odd times when I wanted roti canai. Baby S decided she'd send her both her Abah and I to a staycation.

Happy Father's Day sayang!

One of God's blessings was giving us each other - who just loveeeee finding reasons to celebrate! :))